Round and polished, an unturning doorknob
Hairless shiny crown
(I never understood why they call them ‘Bald Eagles’)
The monarch of the household
Your dominion is domestic, parochial
Perched, a crested dictator
Oh father, thy will be done
Baby blue eyes in a baby pudding face
Bloated, despite the talons
Goo Goo Ga Ga
Goes the foetus in its swathing crib of entitlement
Ga Ga over biltong and rugby
Go bokke! Let’s braai our sorrows away
Rip into raw meat with the teeth of manhood
This is the Afrikaner way
Please, keep your feet up
High, high, high
Relax while your wife bends beneath your knees
In the crooks of your desire, the bent of your want
Genuflection in what some might call love
Hopelessly devoted, Sandy and Danny
Except Danny was a tosser.
Loop those stubby fingers –
Stretched to their furthest point –
Around my neck
Tighten the noose of this swan song
Hit and slam the hammer on the drum
The beat of self-righteousness
You’ve always done that well
Sketch sterile landscapes that hint at emotion
But never quite evoke it
Play The Who as loudly as you like –
Pete Townsend can’t hear you now
Tell me to get back into my box again
Please do. You know how I like it
I must be a caged, feral animal
You must be privy to how I crave strangulation
You must have instilled my taste for
The copper saltiness of pain and flagellation
Flog me for having ovaries
Punch me for having a mind that lacerates more than yours
Coddle me to your chest before you smother me in ashes
We aren’t Chinese but hide behind your Dutch religion
The church has always been resourceful
When digging for Biblical text
We protect our own, our lambs of slaughter
You’re a full-grown toddler struggling to stand
Stunted gait, tottering mind
An intoxicated infant?
How irresponsible
The headlines should be calling for justice!
Aren’t females the problem though?
Aren’t offspring the problem though?
Didn’t we ruin your chances
At a glorious path scattered with many prized fossils
Remnants of the ancient land
Burnt sienna Kalahari sand
That sticks to the roof of the mouth like bloody tar
That colours your clothes with bigotry
That rubs into your wounds like love never received
Never given
Festoon yourself with your squandered talents
Wear them with the fluorescent venom of blame
Don’t reflect, the mirror will shatter and sting you
You will forever be acid-etched by your failings
Take it out on me, Baby
I will talk above you in swirling circles and cut out your lying tongue
Deceit is almost as harmful as denial
Squeeze lemon juice in your eye and watch the pus leak out
This miasma is what your actions have sought
I disown your traces in my saliva
Castrate the loins from whence I sprung
They are crusted and diseased anyway
I used to sing nursery rhymes
(Ode to Daddy’s Strength)
Now I spew hate speech
Pink, fleshy memories of first-time biking
Clasped hands journeying trafficked streets
Bubblegum tales catch in my throat
Scalding reflux
I spit out
I choke out
I vomit out your hypocrisy –
Regurgitation works better than a Rennies
Your disgraceful words
Won’t bludgeon me into submission
I shall not cow in mutt-obedience
Scratch me off your to-do list –
I reject you as master
Do not burden me with the yoke of your regrets
This ox is rather a crow
Heralding your dearth of time
Your imminent black descent
You’re pious, aren’t you?
Kneel before the forsaken daughter
Your mucus-filled sighs won’t bleach this murder scene
They’ll bring you back cooing from hospital swaddled in cloth
And I’ll slash your face
I went
Goo Goo Ga Ga too
Once.
You saw my face and turned away
I recall your hum of despair at the close of the door
Welcome home, Baby Daddy.
Under The Nail 